If you’ve always thought that drag racing was a bit boring … think again .. there is a lot to it .. not just cubes and power (although they do help) - makes for an interesting night … and there are all types of bikes , all ages and all levels of skill/experience …..
Not having anything special to do on a Wednesday Night and as the afternoon had been on the cooler side it seemed like a perfect opportunity to dust off the red mist and go whoop some ass at the Perth Motorplex… or so I and the little voices that keep me company had imagined….. o
Got held up on a phone call and ended up running into peak hour over the narrows but managed to slip between the Volvos, utes with bits sticking out and phone users turning their cars into mobile chicanes to arrive at the back end of the starting line up for the first run of the night at a bit past 6…. only to notice that everyone else had a number painted on their bike/car …except me…SHIT!! After successfully negotiating with the Teenage Picnic Bar on legs, who had the important job of policing the rope that held the masses back from the staging area, to let me duck back to scruiteneering and get some white shoe polish daubed on my helmet that would identify me as a legitimate participant and allow my stellar 1/4 mile times to be accurately recorded for all to see …. (I imagined that no doubt The West and 1 HD Sport would probably be ringing me for an interview as well….) I managed to whip back just in time to see the last trio of bikes lining up … fortunately all Harleys … HA !!! should be a doddle ..!!
Peering through the low level cumulo-nimbus clouds of acrid blue rubber smoke that had been created by a gent on a haybusakamasaki I noticed that the christmas tree lights weren’t as big and long as I had recalled seeing on telly …. ah well just like the Hay St I reckon I can sort this lot out … just then I get a tap on my shoulder .. apparently I can’t wear my lucky red backpack up the track… (as much as I protested the need for it based on a) the combined weight of said HD and Rider b) the sensible decision by the US MoCo to use butter for brake pads in my 05 model and c) the speed of light that I intended to traverse the course in …they disagreed that I needed a parachute and assured me they would dig me out of the sand trap if I really went that fast..…)
Eying up my opposition on an aircooled HD something or other with a single seat do a massive burnout I thought “he’s done this one or two times before “….. ahh well… I’ll give it a go and probably wont see him for dust coz I got a water-cooled Vrod with a blower …HEH HEH ..he’ll never know what hit him….
Staging lights come on … focus Coxy … then before I know it … 3 little yellow lights trickle down the christmas tree and end up green .. aww isn’t that nice .. SHIT that means GO!!! … give her a fistful …. back end breaks out aaargh…. um what next … oh yeah needle on 9 000 and rev limiter cutting in means I have to change into 2nd …. bugger …he’s getting away … how’d he do that … ok bang into 3rd … more slip and slide… whoa where’s the end of the track Bang into 4th …he’s not getting any closer…. wring the throttle a bit and bang into 5th… ahhh bugger…. red light for me green for him …hang my head in shame ….I think there is more to this caper than just fronting up and giving it the berries…..
I get back to the start and a nice man hands me a copy of my run which shows me that I had a reaction time of 0.351 secs - not bad …until I read that my nemisis on the Air Cooled had 0.052….. hmmmm elapsed time (ET) 12.275 for me and 11.841 for him… jeez I was whooped on a wednesday !!!
Ok Next run I am picking something easier …. quick scan of the bikes in the staging lane …bugger no 250’s or vespas in site ….. oh well lets see what I line up next to and leave it in the laps of the drag gods … ah yeah obviously the gods have a sense of humour …very funny …, Z12R… c’mon… gimme a break … how about a nice little 750 like Mongoose’s … ah well this time I know what I’m doing … so it’s a shoe in !!! Lights camera … (give it a rev… and … oops … I psyched the Z12 and he red lights.. FOUUUULLL!!! Mwhhhhaawwahhaha I am a legend …I win before I leave the lights !!
( I wont mention that it was a slower run than the first on or that he was still a full 1.6 secs quicker than me and that I also red lighted … but I still took the win coz I did it after him…. )
OK now I am starting to pout… if I dont beat something to the other end I am taking my bat and blower and going home ‘…!! Third time lucky and I have spotted a potential victim for my fragile, insecure ego ..a big lumbering giant of a Honda Valkeriye …with a Ulysees sticker …. riding lights and a Windshield … surely I should be able to reinstate my bruised pride this time !!!
OK Focus and breeeaaathe … I remember to concentrate on the light before the green and try to anticipate coz I know the big flat Honda six has gobs of torque and if I don’t give it a good go I am going to have to stop hanging out with PSB and the Zombies and go “nom” for the septegenarians, start wearing my jeans inside my boots and dunking ginger snaps in my tea on the last tuesday night of every month…. eeeuuukkkk…. so focus and breeaaathe and…. ….phark …he beat me off the mark but by 2nd I am starting to reel him in .. go go go third level and fourth ,…. seeya granpa … fifth and over the line FIRST ..hahhahahahh who cares about the time I won!!!
(Time sheet shows I did a 12.4 and the Valkeryie a 13.2 but the old bugger got his incontinence pad in a twist and red lighted anyway ……. my reaction time was 0.156… hmmm… maybe I’ll hang around for just one more run …)
Time slips by tooo slowly …. I am starting to feel like a junkie waiting for a methadone fix … just one more run .. but this time I want to break my 12 second cherry …. stay focused, calm, deep breaths… and try the racing change this time …
I am at the back of the line again and spot my next target… a guy on a brand new CB1000RR in repsol colours …. why him …well word in the staging lanes is it’s his first time and the bike has only 2ookms on it … now I heard that some people treat their bikes hard from day one …but the drags ..??? this guy is so keen to do well he has folded his mirrors in … (maybe that’s what is holding me back…? note to self lose 20 kilos or fold back mirrors for next trip to drags…. I think I’ll bring a spanner next time) Now if I can just nail a good reaction time and focus on keeping the front down and the back from spinning I reckon I can still make the front page of the Kwinana Times and eternal adulation from the 17 people in the stands ….
Red ,yellow, yellow , yellow, HIT IT - Green, yesss I am in front … ( well I can’t see him in front of me so he must be behind me … ) focus on the tacho don’t hit the rev limiter … crack into 2nd, still no sign of him .. flatshift in to 3rd woo hoo… up to 8000 and bang it into 4th … why is this track so long…. ??? yes I am going to do it … rrrrrrrrrrrrowwwwrrrr… bugger pipped at the line … ah well it felt good …. and as it turns out I can go home a happy man coz I pulled 11.89 and broke my 12 sec cherry Yee ha … (NB the RR did a 11.84 so 5/10ths of a second in it )… next time I’ll nail it and bring home a real scalp!!
…..so I’m thinking of heading back down for the next one .. any one want to join me??
Coxy's Ass getting Whooped... but liking it
